No Result
View All Results
Reserve & National Guard
SUBSCRIBE FREE
No Result
View All Results
Reserve & National Guard
SUBSCRIBE FREE
Reserve & National Guard

Rainbow baby born out of couple’s infertility struggles

Crystal Kupper
by Crystal Kupper
March 5, 2021
Photos by Racso Guillaumes Photography.

Photos by Racso Guillaumes Photography.

When the Fourth of July rolls around this summer, Army Reserve Maj. Andrew Eshelman and his wife, Julie, will be celebrating a unique freedom for the first time: that of new parents rising above the hardships of infertility.  

“We were on Zoom when the doctor laughed and said, ‘This is perfect for you guys! Your baby is due on July 4th!’” Julie, a Pennsylvania native, said. “Each new milestone we hit as we get closer is really exciting.”  

Given the time, money, energy, and heartbreak it took to get to this point, the couple’s excitement is understandable.  

“Infertility was something we had to deal with, figuring out the steps to overcome it,” says Andrew, an operations officer with the 416th Theater Engine Command out of Darien, Illinois. “It’s been quite a journey.”  

An estimated 15% of couples will have trouble conceiving, according to UCLA Health. It’s a journey the Eshelmans never saw coming when they married in 2015. The newlyweds began trying for a baby six months after their wedding. Months, then a year, passed with no double lines to rejoice over.  

Julie, 34, ticks off the small ways her life began changing.  

“I wasn’t drinking, I was taking prenatal vitamins, I was buying ovulation kits and pregnancy tests. I even gave up coffee. I did everything under the moon to try to get pregnant.”  

With some help from infertility clinics, it worked. After several rounds of fertility medication and intrauterine insemination (IUI) treatments, Julie made it as far as eight weeks gestation before separately miscarrying two children in 2019. The first came in the middle of a PCS from Arizona to Illinois, an experience Julie calls “a whole nightmare situation.”  

“We had to start all over once we got to Illinois — establishing primary care, getting referrals and all that,” she said. And when she miscarried another baby, she had to have a dilation and curettage (D&C) procedure to remove his or her body from Julie’s own. 

She described it as “brutal,” but it was also a turning point for the family. Instead of staying quiet, they started sharing their infertility journey with family and friends.  

“It’s interesting once you put it out there, how many couples will share their experience [with infertility],” Andrew, 32, said. “In some cases, people are ashamed, but others will come forward to say that if we need someone to talk to, they’re there.”  

The more they talked about it, the more they learned about other military couples experiencing similar situations. 

In 2019, in the midst of miscarriages, Julie was named the Armed Force Insurance Unattached – Army Spouse of the Year. And since January 2020, she has been the Development Director at Military Spouse Advocacy Network. Both positions, alongside her personal experience, have allowed a close-up look at military infertility.  

Julie also expressed frustration that TRICARE does not cover infertility treatments, leading to couples spending thousands out of pocket. The Eshelmans, as an example, estimate they have spent $20,00 to $30,000.  

The realities of the journey turned Julie into an advocate who has since recorded videos for RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association, became a mentor, wrote articles about Infertility Awareness Week, and helped plan Federal Advocacy Day — all with the goal of getting fertility treatments covered by TRICARE.  

“It’s given me a chance to help educate those who don’t know anything about this topic,” she said.  

After three rounds of IUI, Julie and Andrew tried in vitro fertilization. Coronavirus lockdowns paused that plan temporarily. But after egg retrieval last July and a one-egg transfer in October, things finally went their way, with Julie’s doctor happily announcing an Independence Day finish line.  

The reserve family, Andrew says, has been hugely helpful. When Julie had a miscarriage, for example, his unit sent him home to help, even though it was drill weekend. Another time, his co-workers provided meals so they wouldn’t have to cook.  

“Usually these jobs are very high-stress, but the unit as a community has been very supportive so we can focus on the important things, like family-building,” he said.  

Most importantly, the Eshelmans want their son or daughter to know that their story involves not only the three of them, but an entire military community.  

“We didn’t give up; we used our struggles to help others,” Julie said. “This baby is just so loved that we worked this hard to meet them.”  

Visit www.resolve.org to connect with support resources for other couples experiencing infertility.  

Read comments
Tags: 416th Theater Engine CommandArmed Force Insurance Unattached – Army Spouse of the YearArmy Reservein vitro fertilizationMilitary couplesMilitary Spouse Advocacy NetworkNational Infertility AssociationTRICARE
Crystal Kupper

Crystal Kupper

Crystal Kupper is a writer, photographer, runner, mom of (at least) four and Air Force wife currently stationed in Arizona. There's nowhere she'd rather be other than with her family or chatting about orphan justice.

Related Posts

Army Guard medics with next-generation training apply skills to save the day

by National Guard
2 months ago
0
army guard medics

Army Guard medics in South Carolina receive next-generation training, which has been applied in real-world situations to save the day.

Read more

2023 Warrior Games Challenge athletes praise competition amid recovery

by Christopher Adams
3 months ago
0
Warrior Games Challenge

Two reserve component athletes are among those who medaled at the 2023 Department of Defense Warrior Games Challenge.

Read more

Are You Minding Your Mind?

by AmeriForce Exclusive
3 months ago
0
YogaFit

YogaFit Positive Psychology training practices awareness, creating new neural pathways & learning easy skills to shift habits in our minds.

Read more

Guardsmen, reservists who retire early could get cheaper health care under Senate bill

by Military.com
4 months ago
0
Airmen of the Iowa Air National Guard’s 185th Air Refueling Wing take part in a 9/11 20th anniversary ceremony in Sioux City, Iowa September 11, 2021. Ter Haar/U.S. Air National Guard

Guardsmen and reservists who retire before age 60 would be eligible for low-cost military health care plans under a bi-partisan a...

Read more

Paper: Decomposing bodies, handling remains among top stressors of COVID-19 mission

by AmeriForce Exclusive
4 months ago
0
Spc. Dylan Messina from Albany, N.Y., assigned to the New York Army National Guard, plays with Dakota, a Labrador retriever service dog provided by Puppies Behind Bars, in New York City, April 21, 2020. Photo by Senior Airman Sean Madden

A survey found that talking with other guardsmen was the best way to relieve stress after being involved with the...

Read more

Psychological health directors discuss readiness impacts

by National Guard Bureau
5 months ago
0
psychological health

Air National Guard directors of psychological health focused on best practices, trends & changes to psychological health needs for airmen.

Read more

Ads

Let's get social

The RNG Drill

News delivered directly to your inbox

Let's connect!

ABOUT US

  • OUR STORY
  • OUR TEAM
  • OUR WRITERS

MAGAZINE

  • GET PRINT
  • GET DIGITAL
  • GET THE NEWSLETTER

ADVERTISE

  • GET OUR MEDIA KIT
  • PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

SUBMISSIONS

  • SUBMIT YOUR STORY

Never miss out on the latest stories.

© 2021 Reserve & National Guard by AmeriForce. Privacy Policy | Terms | Site by Swiss Commerce

Thank you for your interest in The Reserve & National Guard Magazine!

Thank you for your interest in The Reserve & National Guard Magazine!

No Result
View All Results
  • NEWS
  • YOUR CAREER
    • UNIT TRAINING
    • DEPLOYMENT
    • PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
    • RECRUITING & RETENTION
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • TRANSITION
  • EDUCATION
  • MILITARY LIFE
    • MILITARY SPOUSES
    • MILITARY KIDS
    • PARENTING
  • OFF DUTY
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • TRAVEL
  • HEALTH
    • FITNESS
    • MEDICINE
    • MENTAL HEALTH
  • SPORTS
  • OPINION
  • HISTORY
  • MONEY
    • PERSONAL FINANCE
    • BENEFITS
  • GET THE MAGAZINE
    • PRINT MAGAZINES
    • DIGITAL MAGAZINES
    • GET THE NEWSLETTER
  • ABOUT US
    • MEET OUR TEAM
    • OUR AUTHORS
    • ADVERTISE WITH US
    • SUBMIT YOUR STORY
    • PITCH US
    • CONTACT

© 2022 Reserve & National Guard by AmeriForce. Site by SCBW