No Result
View All Result
Reserve & National Guard
SUBSCRIBE FREE
No Result
View All Result
Reserve & National Guard
SUBSCRIBE FREE
Reserve & National Guard

Not everyone deserves a mentor

John Gronski
by John Gronski
January 4, 2021

I was shocked when I first heard a four-star general proclaim, “Not everyone deserves a mentor.” The late Army Gen. Robert W. Cone delivered these remarks at a conference at Fort Benning, Georgia, in 2011. He was a well-respected senior leader and, at the time, the commanding general of U.S. Army Training and Doctrine Command. The more I thought about those words, the more I realized he was correct.   

If one does not keep their eyes and ears open and look for opportunities to seek mentorship, then they really do not deserve to be mentored. The responsibility in this type of relationship lies not only with the mentor but also with the mentee, something that is oftentimes not discussed. Being mentored is a privilege, not a right. 

The concept of mentorship was addressed in the U.S. Army around 1985 when then-Chief of Staff of the Army Gen. John Wickham Jr. identified “leadership” as that year’s theme. Around the same timeframe, private enterprise and academia began to place more emphasis on mentoring. Most of the literature focused on the characteristics and functions of a mentor.   

There seems to be two schools of thought when it comes to mentorship. Some think organizations should formalize mentoring programs, and others feel that a mentor-mentee relationship should be informal and grow naturally. I believe in the latter. However, I also believe every good leader should create an atmosphere that makes it clear they are accessible and open to a mentoring role.   

READ: The ultimate list of veteran employment resources

More and more papers and books are being written focused on the role and function of a mentor. This includes formalizing definitions of what “mentoring” actually is. Whatever definition you want to apply to it, at its core mentoring is about developing future leaders. The overarching purpose of mentorship is to prepare people for future leadership opportunities and positions of greater responsibility.   

Rather than focusing on the role of the mentor, I am going to take a different perspective and focus on the responsibility of the mentee in a mentoring relationship.  

Mentorship is everywhere 

In 1985, the U.S. Army conducted a survey regarding mentorship. Fifty-nine percent of the participants responded that they did not have a mentor. At that time, I was counted among that number. In retrospect, I believe the majority of our group were blind to opportunities around us.  If you are looking for a mentor, many times it is as simple as seeking out someone you respect and trust, and asking them for advice.   

Over the years, I have not come across many leaders in the military or private sector who would not sit down and give their time to help others learn from their experience. Depending on the chemistry generated, and the perceived interest of the mentee, a majority of those leaders would gladly continue in a long-term mentoring role.  

Mentorship is all around us. It is not just something that happens in a formal one-on-one engagement between graybeard and a young disciple. Mentorship can happen anywhere, but a person has to be open to the opportunities. Mentorship exists when a senior executive chairs a meeting, an Army commander provides guidance at a training event, or a civilian business manager engages in dialogue. These are times to listen and learn.  

I have learned to think of every engagement with a senior leader as a mentoring opportunity, whether that’s one-on-one or in a group setting. Observing how other leaders operate, for better or worse, might be the best mentoring opportunity that exists. A senior leader I worked for was a master at engaging others outside of our organization. He took the time to make people feel that they were critical to our mutual success and their continued support was essential. Whether he knew it or not, he was mentoring me on the importance of engaging stakeholders. I was open to this opportunity, learned the importance of these engagements, and I know I am now a better leader for it.  

Mentoring is not only top-down. It occurs in a 360-degree setting. Do not only look to leaders for mentorship but also look to peers and to followers. I heard someone say, if you are the smartest guy in the room, you should find a different room. By surrounding yourself with top quality people you will become better.   

My favorite Bible verse is Proverbs 27:17, “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” People feed off of one another. When we are at our best, we make each other stronger and better — sharper, if you will.   

Mentorship is a contact sport 

A mentor-mentee association is a two-way street and the mentee should play an active rather than a passive role in the relationship.  

An effective mentor: 

  • Devotes a great deal of time and energy to the relationship  
  • Offers suggestions for professional development reading 

A receptive mentee: 

  • Displays enthusiasm for the relationship with a positive attitude and openness to new ideas and suggested techniques 
  • Shows appreciation for the time the mentor is taking will likely lead to a fruitful and enduring relationship 
  • Uses active listening is important; avoid distractions during the conversation 

Pay it forward 

A mentee should be generous in passing on to others what they have learned and be prepared to assume a mentoring role in their own right. Be approachable and create a persona where others feel comfortable seeking your advice and counsel. Colin Powell said, “The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you’ve stopped leading them. They have either lost confidence that you can help them or concluded that you don’t care. Either case is a failure of leadership.” 

Also, be aware that your actions speak volumes. Emulate the traits of the type of leader you admire and want to become. “Doing the right thing, even when no one is watching,” is a characteristic of integrity; a caveat to that is, “someone is always watching.” The way you interact with others, the demeanor you display, the respect you show, all will be a guide for others as they develop their own leadership philosophies and approaches.   

Mentoring is important. It is a key tool for developing future leaders and one of the most essential responsibilities of any leader is to develop other leaders. However, everyone must take responsibility for their own leadership development. Being open to learning opportunities that present themselves, staying engaged with people you could learn from, and being generous with your time will do a great deal to grow strong leaders in your organization and beyond. 

Want to hear more on leadership from John Gronski? Check out his recent podcast interviews. 

Read comments
Tags: Fort BenningLeadershipmentorshipUnited States Army Training and Doctrine CommandUS Army
John Gronski

John Gronski

John Gronski, a retired major general, has over 40 years of service in the Army including active duty and in the Pennsylvania Army National Guard. He is a leadership consultant, an international speaker, and leadership seminar instructor. Gronski is the author of two books - "The Ride of Our Lives” and “Iron-Sharpened Leadership”. Visit John’s website JohnGronski.com and follow John on LinkedIn, Twitter @JLGronski, Facebook @JohnGronskiLeads, and InstaGram @JohnGronskiLeads.

Related Posts

OPINION: Individual Ready Reserve offers chance to ‘take a knee’

by Emily Solberg
3 weeks ago
0
Individual Ready Reserve

The Individual Ready Reserve (IRR) is a little-known option that could help with retention, according to one reservist and military...

Read more

New veterans head to Congress, including January 6-er

by Military.com
4 weeks ago
0
New veterans

New veterans will begin roaming the halls of Congress next week, contributing to one of the biggest classes of lawmakers...

Read more

Veteran’s dog-treat company honors fallen K-9s, supports canine causes

by Kari Williams
4 weeks ago
0
Canine

Jessica Harris began giving back to her canine companions through K9 Salute after she retired from the Washington National Guard.

Read more

The Hooligans’ Way: Air National Guard’s 119th Wing receives Air Force’s ‘outstanding unit’ award 23 times

by Bianca Strzalkowski
1 month ago
0
Hooligan

North Dakota airmen have produced the outstanding unit of the year 23 times. The 119th Wing attributes success to the...

Read more

NCNG’s first Black female pilot says goodbye

by AmeriForce Exclusive
1 month ago
0
NCNG

Capt. Lindsey Jefferies Jones looks back on her 17-year Army career as she bids farewell to the North Carolina National...

Read more

Finance careers an asset for guardsmen, reservists

by Crystal Kupper
2 months ago
0

Guardsmen and reservists share how their finance careers have been beneficial both in and out of the service.

Read more

Ads

Let's get social

The RNG Drill

News delivered directly to your inbox

Let's connect!

ABOUT US

  • OUR STORY
  • OUR TEAM
  • OUR WRITERS

MAGAZINE

  • GET PRINT
  • GET DIGITAL
  • GET THE NEWSLETTER

GET RESOURCES

  • VETERANS TOOLKIT

ADVERTISE

  • GET OUR MEDIA KIT
  • PUBLISHER’S STATEMENT

SUBMISSIONS

  • PITCH US
  • SUBMIT YOUR STORY

Never miss out on the latest stories.

© 2021 Reserve & National Guard by AmeriForce. Privacy Policy | Terms | Site by Swiss Commerce

Thank you for your interest in The Reserve & National Guard Magazine!

Thank you for your interest in The Reserve & National Guard Magazine!

No Result
View All Result
  • NEWS
  • YOUR CAREER
    • UNIT TRAINING
    • DEPLOYMENT
    • PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
    • RECRUITING & RETENTION
    • ENTREPRENEUR
    • TRANSITION
  • EDUCATION
  • MILITARY LIFE
    • MILITARY SPOUSES
    • MILITARY KIDS
    • PARENTING
  • OFF DUTY
    • ENTERTAINMENT
    • TRAVEL
  • HEALTH
    • FITNESS
    • MEDICINE
    • MENTAL HEALTH
  • OPINION
  • HISTORY
  • MONEY
    • PERSONAL FINANCE
    • BENEFITS
  • GET THE MAGAZINE
    • PRINT MAGAZINES
    • DIGITAL MAGAZINES
    • GET THE NEWSLETTER
  • RESOURCES
    • VETERANS TOOLKIT
  • ABOUT US
    • MEET OUR TEAM
    • OUR AUTHORS
    • ADVERTISE WITH US
    • SUBMIT YOUR STORY
    • PITCH US
    • CONTACT

© 2022 Reserve & National Guard by AmeriForce. Site by SCBW