The National Guard may be the most misunderstood branch of the military.
Civilians often view them as weekend warriors who only serve one weekend a month and two weeks each year. Active-duty military families frequently assume National Guard families have it easier because they aren’t facing ‘real’ military challenges. There are many misconceptions and misunderstandings about the sacrifices of being in the National Guard.
So, we went to the source to find out what National Guard spouses wish others knew about what military life looks like for them. Their answers reflect the unique struggles of being a National Guard family.
They are not just weekend warriors
“The ‘one weekend a month two weeks a year’ hasn’t been seen since 9/11 for any unit around me. My husband has been in since 1997 and I’ve never had the luxury of the military only taking up a weekend.”
“Service members have schools and other trainings that take them away from their families more frequently than many realize. In addition, they can still get called up for active-duty jobs such as hurricane relief!”
“The National Guard has full-time Active Guard Reserve positions. Since my dad went AGR, he has been home less than 50% of the time.”
Yes, the National Guard deploys
“Just because we are National Guard doesn’t mean that we don’t make a lot of the same sacrifices that active-duty families make. My husband is about to deploy for nine to 12 months for the Army National Guard. Our service is real too.”
“My husband is on his third deployment to the Middle East and all have been over a year from home. The units around me have been deployed every six years for around a year each time.”
Different challenges, real sacrifices
“The training for National Guard is no different from the Boot Camp for active-duty soldiers. Both branches complete the same 10-week Basic Combat Training.”
“I wish active-duty families had a better understanding and respect for our sacrifices. Our lives are all hard, just in different ways, but our sacrifices are the same.”
“It’s hard when you’re not considered a “real” military spouse by others. I’ve been told that.”
“The support system is very different than active duty since we are all scattered and have civilian jobs, and there are activations for national emergencies. The opportunity for trainings is limited since the budgets are state-based and not federal.”
“We always struggle to find balance with civilian employment. Finding flexible employment for myself hasn’t been easy either because there’s always a childcare concern.”
“Many colleges and places of work have a hard time adjusting to the crazy things the Guard throws at us, from being activated to help with a local flood, to the battalion being flown across the country in 48 hours to assist with a hurricane. When it’s time to start training for a deployment you have to take time away from your civilian job and hope they don’t fire you. Even military-friendly employers aren’t always understanding. It’s a lot harder to have two lives instead of just one.”
We feel disconnected from everyone
“Active Guard Reserve don’t fit in with regular Guard, and we don’t fit in with regular active-duty Army. The guard is my husband’s full-time job and he has been gone more than he has been home for years!”
“My husband and I live six hours from his unit, so I truly went through deployment alone. It was hard. We are not surrounded by a community of people going through the same thing as us.”
“We aren’t attached to an active-duty base, so we go from living normal, civilian lives in non-military towns to suddenly being plunged into an active duty lifestyle. It makes it hard to connect with your resources, get information, and navigate the deployment process. Traveling to a base to enroll in DEERS, get an ID, or see a doctor is an all-day affair.”
“Our children struggle too. My kids don’t have friends who are army brats. None of their friends have a parent getting ready to leave a full year to a war zone. I can’t imagine how alone they feel.”
Lack of FRG support is a real problem
“My soldier’s unit has people spread out across the state. This makes it hard for families and soldiers to connect with each other, and for me, as an FRG leader, to get family involvement for events.”
“I wish people knew how out of the loop we feel. When my husband began his active duty orders for his nine-month deployment, I felt very unprepared and disconnected from resources that I might have had if we were an active duty family.”
“We were active duty prior and there are so many more family resources than there are for National Guard. I’m in the FRG and volunteered to do so. The FRG is so difficult to get up and running with National Guard. We try our best to get information out, but it’s a lot harder than I thought.”
If your National Guard family struggles with these challenges, you aren’t alone! Always look for ways to connect with and encourage other military families facing similar difficulties.
